Unfairness... alwaes there...

2003-02-12T23:15:00.000-08:00

lets take at as there is only 1 1/2 daes left... arh~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the fact that my mum packed my luggage only stresses me even more ! ! ! kinda F***eD UP ain't it... tml is Vdae... dun think i even have 2 time 2 go out... i have 28 gigs of data 2 transport to my P.hard drive... SO MANI THINGS 2 DO ! ! ! i realli will miss my place... i know while i m not around... my mums gonna throw awae mani things... i can't even bring my computer with me... P4 1.8 ghz... geforce 4 max video hard... so mani more things... PITY ! ! ! arh~! nothin happening around has been worth being happy about... feel so sad now... *sobsob* everything around me is going V fast... feel so sad... dunno what is going 2 happen there... i have never felt so EMPTY in my brain B4... i dun wanna go... but i dunno y i did not object 2 my mum's decision either... hope 2 have a big house there... a bigger TV... projection screen will B just fine... =D but living in singapore for 12 years... it feels much more like home... hope i can adapt to the environment there... once i leave.. there is no return... now i have 2 go there and B something thats not realli me... juz feel so awkward... its like not seeing ur long lost uncle or wadeva and suddenly u have 2 live with him for the rest of ur live... kinda... weird ain't it... =( haix... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... so sad... !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dunno what can cheer me up now... =(

2003-02-12T11:59:00.000-08:00

WTF man... ever felt Fshift888ed up when someone puts words in ur mouth? there was a freakin farewell "party" and stupid things cock up and realised someone put things in my mouth... kinda pissed... can't b bothered 2 go 2 school later... dun wanna get pissed by the incident in school... no point... feel V sad now... i realli dunno what i m feeling actualli... something i have never felt... its not happi... neither is it sad... had a freakin scout crew meeting juz now... everything is messed up in the setting up of the new unit... feel kinda guilty coz being one of the founders.. i can't B there while its in a mess and no one can do anithing neither do anyone wanna do anithing about it Xcept for afew... some guy called ivan was SUPPOSED 2 lead the crew coz being adult... hes not as childish as me i guess... but HE COMES IN THINKING HES THE CEO OR SOMETHING ! ! even the chairman of the crew was quite pissed and how that ivan bull shitted around about the FUTURE and the AIMS of the freakin crew !! its like u haven Xplored jupiter and u start planning how 2 get 2 pluto? someone did tell me it was alright 2 dream about something... but give it a thought... lets put it this way... a group of fisherman went out 2 sea hoping for a good catch... thats the DREAM... but how can u dream of something when the weather reports said that there will b a storm... HELLO?!?!?! can we even get home? come back 2 REALITY... WTF is the good catch for when u can't return home? the chairman and i have concluded 2 kick his ARSE out... but hes the vengeful type hu comes back for revenges and never let go of the grudges... so much stress... so mani problems 2 solve... its like building a NEW COMPANY... with new innovative ideas on the system 2 run it... but u have 2 find the CAPITAL... the HEADQUATERS to be... the WORKERS... and hu 2 get ur goods from or have a rough idea what the whole business is about... its not that SIMPLE.... arh~! so stressed... and only 3-4 pple swallowing it down... i have only 2 daes left... thinking how can i make full use of the 2 daes... my Vdae this year is Fshift888ed up ! ! ! everyone has CCA on Vdae... JC ends at 5 normally with tests on the next dae... Y?!?!?!?!?! y does everything not go smoothly? y does this year's Vdae b on fridae? haix... --_--|| oh well... what can i say... come 2 think of it... its cool mr suhaimi is going 2 b scout leader in CCHS... he was attending the leadership course together with me... kinda suprised 2 see him there... =D so mani things going through my mind... thats y my scout name is SKYE.... supposed 2 be SKY... but LOOKS gay... so they added a E at the back... supposed 2 describe someone hu is open minded and think alot... but its NOT GOOD 2 THINK 2 MUCH ! ! ! applies unneccessary stress... i think... but its also y i got promoted fast... i guess?? =P pple wonder WTF i do during MY scouting... hmm... my job is different... i dun go drillings or pumpings animore... i guess... i no longer do physical torture... but have been Xposed 2 mental torture... i help pple like the national rover chairman have a wider view and what is happening in reality... a wider view... the problems that exist and can pop out... and how 2 solve them... some kinda brain storming... STRESSFUL WORK ! ! ! my job has 2 carry on even when i m in US... --_--|| i guess... but more or less used 2 it... has been a hard dae for me... long meetings... and its a public holidae todae ! ! =( juz finished listing part of a report... so tired ! ! have 2 finish the 2nd half tml i guess... but its a job i accepted 2 get awae from the corrupted and political situation in CCHS scout troop... and i think i made a good choice... atleast i hope so...its so late now... better go 2 bed... or i will collapse soon... *yawn... nite ! ! !

2003-02-07T11:47:00.000-08:00

Wa sian 1/2... going 2 USA... nv Xpected it 2 b so fast... the little madarin orange tree on my desk has not withered yet ! ! ! how can i leave it to the care of others ! ! ! hmm... mani pple will b reading my BRAND NEW BLOG 2 see how the F shift 888 i m doing there... will miss mani pple here... mani... i will miss the lousy bowling alleys here... and the lousy sushi bars... everything is going so fast... i realise i daze alot lately... and i think alot lately too... thinking how time flies... been in singapore for more than 12 years... hope i COULD stay... but seems that this miserable island will kick my arse outta here sooner or later ain't it... juz 1 week... have been thinking very hard how should i spend this week... 2 mani things 2 do... 2 say... 2 feel... mani pple think i WANTED 2 do... WTF MAN~! y would i wanna leave here? its so near the sea ! and the only way i could swim there is in my pool in my backyard... WTF ! its 4 hours drive 2 the beach... aniwae... my fwens... if any of u r coming 2 USA... plz mail me ! ! ! i'll fetch u... u heard that rite... fetch... I CAN DRIVE IN 3 MONTHS ! ! ! WOOHOO ! plan 2 get a dodge... viper that is... hope i could... wish i could.. but its freakin cheap there... dun think my parents will mind... =) i can smell it ! ! ! i think i m dreamin or smth... dun mind the crap... u pple know me.. alwaes toking cok rite? haix... mani pple tellin me jokes lately... but no shit makes me laff though... *looks around* i will miss this place... *with tears in his eyes* nv know when the F shift888 am i coming back... so much shit has happened here... arh~! i dun wanna leave... can't believe i m realli leaving... i juz can't believe it... kinda shocking ain't it? one day when i way up my mum had her light bulb lighted and decided it was time for me 2 go... oh well... its for my own good... i guess... AND THOSE OF U HU OWE ME $$ ! ! ! ! i will tell u my bank account No. juz send the green in there... its 3.45... time for bed... wonder how m i going 2 spend my day tml... hope i can meet up afew friends... better go 2 bed soon... health's been bad lately... nite ! ! !